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EBay listing of the year?

Published by on Jun 13, 2013 in News Leave a comment

Funny eBay Auction

So let’s say you’ve got a 2000 Mercedes-Benz E-Class in a pretty bad shape and with 160,000 miles on it that you want to get rid of on eBay. Definitely not something that would draw attention. But not this time, because this guy’s ad is absolutely brilliant.

First of all, there’s the description, which is the funniest thing we’ve read in a while. Basically, what the guy is saying is that the car’s a piece of crap, so whoever is considering buying it should be aware that it’s not buying the best used car out there. But the way that he’s saying it, it kinda makes you want to place a bid. Here’s a part of the description:

“If you are looking for an immaculate, well maintained example of a Mercedes e320 CDI… you have come to the wrong place. If however, you are low on self esteem, with a strapped budget, but shooting for the stars, welcome to my auction. May I present to you, one of the finest feats in Germanic engineering politely modelled by my ‘more to love’ missus. As you can see from the photos this car has seen things… things it cannot forget.”

“I have owned this car for 3 years, and up to then it had been lovingly cared for and maintained. Since owning the vehicle, it has been thrashed, raced, rallied, and the interior has been smashed up in a domestic, not to mention the time my wife booted the wing because I suggested she eat a salad or two. ( please refer to photo of foot next to dent for reference) The car was lovingly cleaned in preparation for the 2012 summer olympics, and may be in need of another one now. This car has been a dream, and only broken down twice [..] as for the bad bits… there are none… just kidding there are lots.”

“The good bits. Boot is big enough for 2 small or 1 big person ( see pictures) [..] Purchase of this vehicle will result in a severe rise in the number of looks of admiration you get in your local town centre, I would personally recommend wearing a large gold plated chain, a half open shirt, shaving ones head, and wearing 1 bottle of cologne at any given time to truly get desired female attention. The stereo system is suited to playing Russian Techno, Polish house, Bulgarian dubsteb, Romanian hard house, and turkish trance at full volume, whilst not detracting from the over glamour of the avian fecal mattered roof and rusty panels.”

“If you win this auction I will save you time, effort and eye watering hassle by telling you where i hid the sardines [..] We do not accept food as payment, nor coupons for iceland [..] If you are a diplomat or sovereign who has 46,000,000 USD, but can’t access it for lack of a processing fee, please call us straight away, as I have a team of lawyers waiting for my signal to help.”

And then there are the photos. We know that a car looks even better with a woman by its side, but the girl we’re talking about matches the car. Just as beautiful and delicate.

The guy’s ad ends like this: “please no false bids. WE actually want to sell the car” but, unfortunately, it might be a little too late for that, because last we checked, highest bid was £156,100 ($245,000). The listing is totally worth it and we really hope he gets that much, but we’ve got a bad feeling about it.

Source: eBay

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